tentacletrainer | Chapter 33; Accidental Video

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Chapter 33; Accidental Video

[[Today, when the gear turns on, you get a lovely view of the sky and the calming sounds of water nearby. It's a beautiful day, for those of you not outside.

This serene setting is broken by a squeal from a Pokemon and a splash, then all falls quiet and calm again.

It's a few minutes before you hear something again. This something being another splash. And then on screen appears a Dratini with a quite pathetically wiggling Magikarp in it's mouth.

With a happy chirp it disappears off camera again, only to return a few moments later to rub all over the 'gear. And then off it goes. There's a squeal, a splash, and a few minutes later the familiar sight of this Dratini with another Magikarp, struggling in it's grasp. It disappears, it reappears to smother the Pokegear, rinse, wash, repeat.

This show goes on for some time, until finally - during one of its rubbing sessions - it stops and looks up. And then it simply begins to trill in excitement. Almost like if it doesn't make noise, it'll explode. It's also wiggling.

There is so much wiggling from this Dratini.]]

...V-vodka...what are you doing?

[[It seems this Dratini is none other than Vodka Derptini - also lovingly known as John - belonging to resident Rose Lalonde. And said trainer has found the little dragon Pokemon.

She appears momentarily on screen, picking up the 'gear, before turning to look at...oh.

It seems all those Magikarp the little wiggling dragon type had been collecting are in quite the pile of flopping. Meanwhile, the aforementioned culprit of this karp congregation is sitting next to said heap, wiggling as if waiting for praise.

Apparently those fish are a gift for his trainer.]]

...That's...very nice of you, John. Thank you very much. How sweet.

[[A few pats to the Dratini's head, followed by a multitude of elated chirps, lilts, warbles and purls, and the 'gear is shut off.]]

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[ He raises a faintly impressed eyebrow over his shades. ]

Hey. Miss me?

Dave, when does one not miss your cool kid company?

[[Pointing to the branch, she chuckles.]]

May I sit down with you?

[ He sits up obligingly and straddles the branch, leaving room for Rose near the tree trunk. ]

Your Dratini's not gonna start bringing those fish over here, is he?

I believe he's satisfied with the praise I gave him. [[Pulling herself up, she straddles it as well and leans back against the trunk.]] I have a feeling we're safe.

Not that I couldn't have them tossed back as fast as he caught them.

[ There is, in fact, an orange-ribboned Murkrow a few branches up, eyeing the flopping pile of fish with great interest. ]

[[This Murkrow is free to do as she pleases with those fish, but you cannot eat them. You will be very disappointed, Seppucrow.]]

No doubt, but then you would be far too busy with him and his fish and I would end up void of such pleasant company.

Nah. Drown 'em, Seppucrow.

[ Dave snaps his fingers in the general direction of the fish, and in an instant, Seppucrow dives off her branch and swoops in to steal one. She swings wide over the water and drops it in with a resounding splash before wheeling back for more.

The funny thing is, she actually thinks she's drowning them. ]

[[...oh Seppucrow.]]

Drown them? Don't you think that's a little harsh, dear brother? The poor things have done nothing wrong, after all.

Unless your delicate sensibilities are offended by their mindless flopping about.

Yeah, not a big fan of fish. Let her have her fun. She hates them.

[ He watches Seppucrow over his shoulder for a moment before refocusing on Rose. ]

So, did you really come over here for my company, or are you just waiting until you think I've let my guard down so you can punch me? [ A beat. ] Spoilers: I never let my guard down.

I had no intentions of stopping her. Less work for me to do.

[[All she really offers him in reply is a sly smile.]]

If it were the former?

[ He lets go of the limb beneath him, balancing slightly backward as he spreads his arms. ]

Here I am, sis. Ready and waiting for your adoration, love and devoted worship.

Oh Dave. [[Look, Dave. She's even batting her eyelashes a little for you. Don't mind her as she scoots a little closer on the branch.]]

Where should I start? Adoration, love, or devoted worship?

[ Dave's already looking at the logistics of this, and he's pretty sure that if she wants to get close, he's going to have to put her legs over his, or their knees will be in the way. It's an acceptable sacrifice for the sake of the game. ]

Take it from the top. Adoration for $500.

And you have no idea how deep this adoration for you runs, dearest brother of mine.

[[Dave, hope you can deal with this. She's been practicing for John, and has decided to use you as a test dummy. Also, another tiny inch closer.]]

Everything you do is just another thing for me to adore. That insufferable cool kid facade, those detestably ill beats you create, that deplorable way you carry yourself as if nothing in the world matters but you. I simply cannot get enough of it, and it brings us ever so much closer together, I think.

Not bad. You're getting warmer.

[ He leans forward a little, as if to challenge her increasing proximity. ]

Love?

[[Two can certainly play at that game. You want closer Strider? Guess who is now bumping knees with you.]]

I don't think there is a brother better than you, Dave. I love you so much, and you have never had any idea. All of the fawning I've done for you, all of the obsessing, there was never an ounce of irony behind those words. Never facetiousness. All of it was meant from the bottom of my heart.

[ Dave brings his knees in snug to the branch, leaving Rose room to put her legs over his, if she dares. And if she doesn't, he might. ]

You're on a roll. Let's see your devoted worship.

[[She eyes his knees a little, considering, but doesn't move this time. Instead, she simply leans in a little.]]

Why, I follow you everywhere, Dave. You know those girls who constantly email you of how positively amazing you and your blogs are? Take that, except replace it with a girl who expresses such adoration through passive aggressive jabs while secretly checking them once a day.

Perhaps who hangs a picture of you over her bed. But that is only a perhaps.

[[Sorry Dave, it's not actually there. Though you already know that, don't you? Too bad she doesn't know you do.]]

Only once a day?

[ He's counterbalancing himself without his hands now, and with one quick move that could nearly knock her off the branch, he catches her beneath the knees and pulls her forward, her thighs crossing his before he stops. ]

[[And there's a squeak ~~which she will never admit to making~~, followed by an attempt to keep herself balanced.

Dave, you could have gone slower than that. There's no need to try and knock you both out of the tree.]]

Only once. Mostly because I am spending the rest speaking with you myself. I would never miss a chance to do such thing, after all.

[[Cautiously she grabs the branch beneath her and hooks her legs around his. You better keep them on this branch. 8|]]

[ But then you wouldn't have made that adorable noise, Rose. ]

Right, right. I hear that.

Now, about this picture of me hanging over your bed. Is it Photoshopped?

[[Adorable noise or no, it's on your head if you both fall.]]

In the most ironic and yet appealing of ways.

My head horribly photoshopped onto some wizard's body?

[ The most serious face. ]

I'd like to believe I'm no that limited in skill with a computer program.

No, just a wizard outfit photoshopped on to one of your more charming photographs. I was considering adding a beard on for good measure, but you honestly do not seem the type for facial hair.

[[A most serious answer to match.]]

I think I could pull off a little soul patch.

[ He rubs his chin thoughtfully. Sorry, Dave, you'll have to actually be growing facial hair for that to work. ]

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