tentacletrainer | Chapter 33; Accidental Video

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Chapter 33; Accidental Video

[[Today, when the gear turns on, you get a lovely view of the sky and the calming sounds of water nearby. It's a beautiful day, for those of you not outside.

This serene setting is broken by a squeal from a Pokemon and a splash, then all falls quiet and calm again.

It's a few minutes before you hear something again. This something being another splash. And then on screen appears a Dratini with a quite pathetically wiggling Magikarp in it's mouth.

With a happy chirp it disappears off camera again, only to return a few moments later to rub all over the 'gear. And then off it goes. There's a squeal, a splash, and a few minutes later the familiar sight of this Dratini with another Magikarp, struggling in it's grasp. It disappears, it reappears to smother the Pokegear, rinse, wash, repeat.

This show goes on for some time, until finally - during one of its rubbing sessions - it stops and looks up. And then it simply begins to trill in excitement. Almost like if it doesn't make noise, it'll explode. It's also wiggling.

There is so much wiggling from this Dratini.]]

...V-vodka...what are you doing?

[[It seems this Dratini is none other than Vodka Derptini - also lovingly known as John - belonging to resident Rose Lalonde. And said trainer has found the little dragon Pokemon.

She appears momentarily on screen, picking up the 'gear, before turning to look at...oh.

It seems all those Magikarp the little wiggling dragon type had been collecting are in quite the pile of flopping. Meanwhile, the aforementioned culprit of this karp congregation is sitting next to said heap, wiggling as if waiting for praise.

Apparently those fish are a gift for his trainer.]]

...That's...very nice of you, John. Thank you very much. How sweet.

[[A few pats to the Dratini's head, followed by a multitude of elated chirps, lilts, warbles and purls, and the 'gear is shut off.]]

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[[Two can certainly play at that game. You want closer Strider? Guess who is now bumping knees with you.]]

I don't think there is a brother better than you, Dave. I love you so much, and you have never had any idea. All of the fawning I've done for you, all of the obsessing, there was never an ounce of irony behind those words. Never facetiousness. All of it was meant from the bottom of my heart.

[ Dave brings his knees in snug to the branch, leaving Rose room to put her legs over his, if she dares. And if she doesn't, he might. ]

You're on a roll. Let's see your devoted worship.

[[She eyes his knees a little, considering, but doesn't move this time. Instead, she simply leans in a little.]]

Why, I follow you everywhere, Dave. You know those girls who constantly email you of how positively amazing you and your blogs are? Take that, except replace it with a girl who expresses such adoration through passive aggressive jabs while secretly checking them once a day.

Perhaps who hangs a picture of you over her bed. But that is only a perhaps.

[[Sorry Dave, it's not actually there. Though you already know that, don't you? Too bad she doesn't know you do.]]

Only once a day?

[ He's counterbalancing himself without his hands now, and with one quick move that could nearly knock her off the branch, he catches her beneath the knees and pulls her forward, her thighs crossing his before he stops. ]

[[And there's a squeak ~~which she will never admit to making~~, followed by an attempt to keep herself balanced.

Dave, you could have gone slower than that. There's no need to try and knock you both out of the tree.]]

Only once. Mostly because I am spending the rest speaking with you myself. I would never miss a chance to do such thing, after all.

[[Cautiously she grabs the branch beneath her and hooks her legs around his. You better keep them on this branch. 8|]]

[ But then you wouldn't have made that adorable noise, Rose. ]

Right, right. I hear that.

Now, about this picture of me hanging over your bed. Is it Photoshopped?

[[Adorable noise or no, it's on your head if you both fall.]]

In the most ironic and yet appealing of ways.

My head horribly photoshopped onto some wizard's body?

[ The most serious face. ]

I'd like to believe I'm no that limited in skill with a computer program.

No, just a wizard outfit photoshopped on to one of your more charming photographs. I was considering adding a beard on for good measure, but you honestly do not seem the type for facial hair.

[[A most serious answer to match.]]

I think I could pull off a little soul patch.

[ He rubs his chin thoughtfully. Sorry, Dave, you'll have to actually be growing facial hair for that to work. ]

Perhaps, but a grandiloquent beard the likes of which wizards sport would most certainly not look good on you.

[[There's a pause as she tilts her head to think over the idea of him with a 'soul patch'.]]

If you happen to fill out more as you grow older, perhaps with a stronger set jaw line, and without becoming too broad and bulky, it would look alright on you.

Yeah, wizard beards aren't really an unironic option here.

[ He tilts his head back at her, mimicking the gesture and watching her curiously from behind his shades. ]

Pretty sure I'm not gonna be a buck ten my whole life. Bro goes maybe a buck sixty, sixty-five? And it's all muscle.

They really aren't, no. And oh?

[[Snorting, she rights her head and tries to imagine that. And then imagine Dave like that. And then that kind of Dave with facial hair.]]

Hmm.

[ Dave watches her, one eyebrow slowly rising. Compared to her current vision of him, the real thing is decidedly unimpressive — five-foot-three and skinny as a rail, and not a single chin hair in sight. ]

Don't get too excited about that. John probably wouldn't appreciate it.

[[It's always been decidedly unimpressive, but that is to be expected of a thirteen year old, after all. So she won't hold it against him. Though she will offer Dave a laugh at that statement.]]

John has nothing to worry about.

[ He laughs, too, but it's a sound at the back of his throat, quiet. ]

Ouch. Good thing I'm not into you.

[[Smirking, and now just a tad more comfortable with the idea that hey, maybe he won't let her fall off the branch, she leans back against it a bit.]]

Don't get me wrong, Strider, I am sure you will look quite handsome. However this is very much like looking into a mirror here. And I'm not quite sure how I would feel about having a relationship with myself, no matter how devilishly good looking I may be.

Besides, [[Leaning back? What leaning back? She's leaning forward now, mostly to ironically(?) give him a small Eskimo kiss.]]

A brother as cool and dashing as you is a rare commodity. If I gave you up in favor of a relationship, I have a feeling I would sorely regret it.

Any girl - provided they meet our criteria - can wine, dine and bed a Strider. Not every girl is lucky enough to be related to one.

Plus, [[leaning back once again. Eskimo kiss? What Eskimo kiss?]] John is going to grow to be quite handsome too, no doubt, and he's already captured my heart. Apologies.

Edited 2011-08-30 22:10 (UTC)

[ Despite himself, he crinkles his nose a little at the contact, but to his credit, he doesn't pull away.

He stays quiet throughout, and when she's finished talking, he may even be almost wearing an expression that sort of approaches an ironic(?) smile. His reply doesn't have the sardonic tone of a retort, but the idle tone of pleasant conversation. Maybe Eskimo kisses soothe the savage Strider? ]

Let's just hope he grows into those teeth. Not that I doubt you think they're adorable, or something equally stupid.

[[Hm. She will have to keep this tactic in mind.

Though she, herself, sounds rather soothed as well.]]

Adorable, charming, everything he thinks they're not I'm sure. Even if he did manage to keep them, I doubt I'll mind much. They're part of what makes John, John after all. And I adore him on a whole rather than in little pieces.

[[She takes to idly swinging her legs. No major movement, as she doesn't want to make Dave uncomfortable, but little tiny sways.]]

[ Dave accommodates the swinging motion easily. He knows he's in no danger of falling; his balance has always been better than most. He'd be more concerned about Rose, but he's pretty sure she wouldn't be swinging her legs and giving him Eskimo kisses if she was nervous.

He shakes his head a little, his eyes flickering briefly upward behind his shades. ]

I can't figure out how a guy like John ever landed a chick like you. I mean — don't get me wrong, but he's not exactly the crazysexycool type.

[ And then there's Dave, who obviously is, and remains, bizarrely, single. Not that he's complaining ~~out loud~~. ]

Interesting.

[[With a chuckle, she glances upward as well, considering that entire statement on a whole.]]

One would figure, being his best friend and my brother, you would have been the one to see this coming from a mile away.

[ He snorts. ]

Just because I saw it coming, doesn't mean it makes any fucking sense. By all rights, I should've seen way more action than he has by now.

[ Okay, so maybe he's complaining a little. ]

[[She's laughing. She's sorry, Dave, but you're amusing her so much right now.]]

Perhaps you should ask him for tips on picking up girls? Surely he wouldn't mind sharing his secret.

[[Calming down a little, she offers him a sympathetic smile.]]

Though if it is any consolation, John hasn't exactly seen any 'action' yet himself, either. I'm afraid I'm quite terrible at this whole relationship thing.

[ He lays a semi-gentle backhand to her leg when she starts laughing, but aside from that and a brief, displeased twist of his mouth, he doesn't seem too off-put. He pretty much asked for it, after all. ]

Pretty sure any tips from John would just wind up netting me a girl like you. And if I wanted to date you, Lalonde, I'd have been doing it a while ago.

[ He leans back on the branch, one hand supporting him as he looks over his shoulder toward John. ]

You guys'll be fine. I mean, you're both retarded, but I guess that's why it'll work out.

You sound so sure of that fact, Strider. [[And even though she wants to say something sarcastic and snippish about the retarded comment (possibly "If I'm retarded, does that not make you so as well by extension? Considering we are related after all."), she refrains. Instead, she just pauses her leg swinging and reaches forward to give the wrist of his non supporting arm a light squeeze.]]

It's good to know the famous man of swag has faith in our relationship.

[[Yeah, still teasing. But at least she means it?]]

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