tentacletrainer | Chapter 11; Video/Filtered Video to Karkat

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Chapter 11; Video/Filtered Video to Karkat

[[The feed flicks on to a view of four Pokemon. The first three are likely familiar to anyone who knows their trainer.

An all-too-cool Wooper, who currently seems rather put out and a little scratched up.
A primping and preening Pidgey, who seems quite proud of itself.
And a rather irritated looking Eevee, ruffled somewhat and glaring in the aforementioned Wooper's direction.
The fourth Pokemon, sitting quietly and watching the three with interest, is a Mareep.

From off camera comes the voice to confirm that yes, this is indeed Rose's team.]]

I am pleased to say we are finally making progress in level. Surprisingly, Dave has been putting forth a great deal of effort into his training. I am unsure as to why, but not complaining.

Woop!

That was a compliment. You should accept it as such.

Pilcrow, the Pidgey you see before you, has also gained a few levels of her own. Guillemot has earned the most, however. I am highly proud of her. I also have a new addition, of whom I have just caught. Halos the Mareep. He is quite the energetic one, and I am sure he will make an excellent addition to my team.

[[And now you get a view of the girl, who looks like she's recovering from a cold.]]

I have doubts of challenging the gym here before we leave, but I suppose that is not my duty as a breeder anyway, is it?

[[For everyone else, the feed ends here. However, Karkat gets one soon after.]]

[Filtered to Karkat]

...Karkat. Would I be able to ask a favor of you? It concerns living arrangements, as I have been unable to work for the past week due to both my illness and the incident with Dave, and therefor can no longer afford room and board.

Of course I intend to find work as soon as possible, but until then I have no where to stay...

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Caste system?

Karkat, I assure you I am more interested in why it bothers you than the color and placing on any caste it may have. If you have not gathered by now, I care very little for any form of system which leads to how you are judged being based on something you cannot change. Blood color would fall under that.

Yes, a fucking caste system. Everyone's ranked by that fucking thing, and your whole damn place in society is determined by it. It's a fucking pain. It's stupid.

I just--

[He curls up, knees drawing up to his chest and face burying in his hands.]

[[She frowns at that reaction, though can't say she's surprised.]]

It is completely stupid. One's worth should never be based on the color of their blood, something of which they cannot change. Especially if they are extremely low in the system, and yet have such an abundance of redeeming qualities which would and should add to that worth.

[[Sure, she is making an assumption in suggesting the lower class, however she doubts he's so upset because he's at the top.]]

[He peers out between his fingers at her as she says that. Should he trust her? But--she is his moirail. She's shared similar views as his in the past, supported him in past endeavors, and done what she can to boost his self-confidence.]

[He swallows, opens his mouth--swallows again, presses his lips together.]

[Grabbing for her shoulder, he tugs her closer, him leaning in to whisper under his breath.]

I'm--_{god this is so fucking hard.}

I.

I'm.

O-_{outside the whole system.} B-below the bottom.

I'm--

_{A fucking mutant-blooded piece of shit.}

[[And her frown deepens considerably at how he approaches the subject, and what he refers to himself as. She doesn't pull away, hoping the closeness might be reassuring in some way, as she mulls through exactly how to go about this.]]

Well, as I mentioned before. No matter where you fall on a caste system, or if you fall within it's lines at all, it should not affect one's worth. And in my eyes, you are worth far more than whatever such a caste position has given you credit for.

Though I better understand now what you were referring to earlier.

Edited 2011-03-04 21:04 (UTC)

Keep your damn voice down!

[He shakes his head.]

I could've--no, would have been culled if it ever got out. Just--this fucking, dirty, _{red-blooded scum. Like a human's.} No one else had that color, no one; it was always either maroon or magenta, not red, never fucking candy fucking red.

I had to--fucking--hide it all the damn time. It's why I type in grey. I--they all know now, the other trolls, but. Fuck.

[[This. This would be a tricky subject. With a deep breath, she very gently leans against him.]]

I am sorry you had to go through that, Karkat. Nobody ever should, no matter what race or culture or heritage they were born or hatched into. And you certainly didn't deserve it.

[As soon as she leans against him, he grabs at her, burying his face against his shoulder as though he wants to bury it all through that. He's not crying or anything, no, but it's obvious that the subject hurts him.]

I've never even told Dave. I don't know if I ever could.

I--I hate myself. Not just because of this, but this started it, it made my life shit. Sgrub is--it's the only way I ever got even a fucking chance to truly lead anything.

But even then, when I cloned myself and sent me back in the past, I couldn't fucking change my blood color. If some change cropped up that made me different, the whole fucking timeline would be doomed. It's set in a fucking stable time loop that I'm this worthless freak.

Dave. Dave might use it as a way to tease you, but he would think no less of you. And considering the relationship you two have, if he learned you were truly serious about how your blood affects you, I'd go so far as to say he wouldn't use it as ammo anymore. But mind you, I am not saying you should tell him, simply trying to reassure you that if you ever, ever do, he would hate and love you anyway.

...I can understand, to a point, why you would. That must have been...hell to deal with. I am not envious of your position, however I am amazed by it as well. You possess so much strength to be able to persevere on under such pressure, Karkat. It's admirable. The fact that you were also able to still lead, to take control when faced with such opposition, such threat, is also absolutely astounding.

And though I am sure my view of your worth, from a human's view, likely holds no water with you, I do not believe you are a worthless freak. Certainly not because of your blood color. Personal worth is based upon personal achievements and growth. One who is able to accomplish the things you have, who is able to take their mistakes in stride and learn from them, who is able to take control in the hardest of times, or show strength in the face of the most crippling of disadvantages, creates their own worth. And of great value it is. And everything I've heard, everything I've seen for myself, you most certainly have qualified and accomplished all of those things. You are not worthless, Karkat, but invaluable.

...And if you were unable to change your fate, in the face of all of these facts...

Does it not stand to reason that perhaps, instead of being fated to the title of 'worthless freak', you were destined from the start to be something great?

[Karkat is silent throughout her longwinded reply. But it's something he needs to hear, something he really can't hear enough. It may not be the same as when he told Crona, and it never will be, because Rose never had to go through having unusual blood. But still, what understanding she can provide - and the support that comes with it - are invaluable to him.]

[So, slowly, he relaxes. By the end he's not clinging to her quite as much, and in fact, he finally lets go.]

Even if you tell me all that, I'm not sure I can believe it.

But...

The fact that you can still say it. That. It--means a lot.

[[As he lets go, she moves to pull him into a hug, not caring at that point if he wants it or not. In her mind, he needs it.]]

I hope you will come to believe it someday, Karkat. I sincerely hope you will.

[Maybe he really did. Because when she hugs him? He can't help but hug her back. Quite tightly.]

... If it's even possible, I hope I can too. Because this. This is shit.

[[And she certainly tightens her hold when he returns it.]]

I am sure it is. And if it takes me reminding you every day of how important you are, I will do so, no matter how much rage ensues. Because, if nothing else, you are important to me. As both my moirail, and my friend. And that is something I refuse to allow you to even attempt to refute.

[After a moment following her words, he lets out a little snort of breath.]

I knew there was a reason I wanted you to be my moirail.

[[And he simply receives a chuckle in return, along with a brief squeeze. Though she still doesn't relinquish her hold.]]

I am happy to hear you say that.

...And I believe we have missed the entire second movie.

[Given the circumstances, Karkat will allow it.]

[He does, however, glance past her shoulder at the TV.]

Figures. Want to try the third or is this the part where we say 'fuck it' and try it another night?

This might be when we should simply give up. Partially because we will likely get onto yet another long-winded topic, and partially because I've a feeling once I get up, I will not be invited back into a hug. And it has been a while since I've actually wanted one, much less been in the mood to enjoy one.

[And you just ruined it, Rose. Because at the mention of the hug, he looks down at himself and at her, and extricates his arms from around her. Cheeks coloring just a touch.]

Yeah, well, you got one. I don't do it often, so don't bitch that I'm stopping.

[[Well just because he's removed his arms doesn't mean she's doing the same.]]

I am well aware you don't do it often. I'm surprised you'd be willing to give me one at all.

[[You're getting one final squeeze before she sits back and respects your personal space. ~~Note to self number two: Never mention that he's hugging.~~]]

[Now have a swat to the arm.]

Special circumstances!

I'm not complaining, Karkat.

[[And her retaliation?

Purple kitty hat in your direction, Karkat.]]

[Frown.]

Stop throwing your damn hat at me, damn flighty broad.

[He plops it back on her head.]

Well if I had a pillow, I would use that instead.

[[Tugging it down on her head and playing idly with the earflaps!]]

Well, if we are done hugging, perhaps we could try movie number three, provided you are up for watching it.

May as well give it a shot. And no fucking derailing it this time, or I'm going to grab my pillow off the bed and smack you with it.

[[Careful Karkat. She is actually sticking her tongue out at you. She never does this, who knows what that might mean.

Getting up with a chuckle, she obediently moves to change the movies, sitting this time without comment, and doing her best to refrain from commenting.

Movie enjoyment time.]]

Action;

threshecutioner.livejournal.com - 2011-03-04 23:45 (UTC) - Expand

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