tentacletrainer | Chapter 63; Video/Filtered Video from the Homestuck Cast

Three years ago today I was kicked out of my mother's house into a frozen wasteland, expected to travel on my own with nothing but the most annoying animal to keep me company.

[There's an almost listless sigh to accompany the narrative. The screen is taken up by the sight of the ocean in the late afternoon. If the voice wasn't a give away, it likely isn't hard to guess who is broadcasting this.]

I'm really grateful that whatever brings people here decided to bring me. These have been the best three years of my life, I'm fairly certain. The friends I've made, the relationships I've formed, the bonds with the Pokemon I've acquired...all my adventures and the memories I've made.

I want to sincerely thank everyone here for having me. And tell you all that I'm glad you're here with me, even if we haven't met. Because I'm sure our paths will cross eventually.

[Filter to the Homestucks]

It's been forever since I've done a filter like this. I just wanted you all to know how happy I am to have you guys here with me. Partly because I truly value your companionship, and partly because I'm just...glad you're out of the shit that our life was back home. Thank you for being my friend.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Just not something I hear a lot. Never been anybody's "guardian," either.

[He doesn't hate the sound of it, though.]

Then this may also be something you will have to get used to if you continue to converse with us. [Chuckling, she leans back a little in her deck chair.]

Does the idea bother you? If it does, I'll refrain from referring to you as such. But I figured since Dad asked you to watch after us, that sort of placed the position on you. So that's what I have been considering you as.

I didn't say I was complaining.

[Maybe it wasn't quite true that it'd never happened. He could call himself Emily's guardian for a while, there. Not long, but a while.

A kid who actually has some faith in him. It's not so bad to hear.]

You can call me what you want.

[She smiles bright at that, a little relieved to hear this reaction.]

Well if I can call you what I want, does that mean I can refer to you as daddy?

[Now she's fucking with you, Blake.]

[Blake half-chokes. He waves his hands in front of him.

Especially because that's not the first time somebody's suggested that, but it meant a whole different thing before.]

I don't think your real dad'd be thrilled about that.

[Chuckling, she shakes her head.]

Honestly, I think he'd just use that as an opportunity to harass you. "So when are you putting a ring on it?" That sort of thing.

[Blake's face goes white.

Come on, she can't know. She's just making a joke. Fuck, fuck, pull it together or she will know.]

Heh. Yeah.

[His smirk is a little sickly.]

He always said a lot of crazy shit. Probably throw in something about horses, too.

[...her brow quirks and she shifts, resting her chin in her hand.

Well that was an interesting reaction.]

The scary thing is he usually meant a lot of what he said, no matter how humorously he meant it to be.

[No it wasn't. There was nothing interesting about that.

She wasn't pressing him on it, to his relief. He was just being paranoid again.]

Yeah...weird guy. He could be honest and one hundred percent full of shit at the same time.

[He makes a kind of amused noise.] Hard to tell when he was joking or not, same as you.

[Only because she's curious if she can get you to slip on your own.]

The nice thing, though, was that he was never lying about how he felt about a person. I never questioned if he loved me or not. [She laughs at that, nodding.]

I believe I get a lot of my traits from him.

[A sharp, clever professional like Blake doesn't slip. ~~except how he did a second ago.~~]

He cares about you kids a lot. Even I could you tell that much.

All around, he wasn't so bad when he dropped the bullshit.

[He cracks a smile.] Just promise not to take up stupid-looking sunglasses.

Edited 2014-02-02 06:27 (UTC)

[Uh huh. Sure.

She nods, a fond smile on her face. That breaks however at the mention of stupid-looking sunglasses as she laughs.]

But it's family tradition. I don't know if I could consider myself a Strider without stupid-looking glasses.

[Blake winces.]

Strider? And here I thought Bro was a bad enough name on its own. Jesus, I can almost have sympathy for the guy.

I'm not sure what he was telling you, but his name isn't actually Bro. It's Dirk. But don't tell him I told you that.

[...you know. When he comes back. She chuckles a little.]

Dirk Strider, with my brother Dave Strider. It's not so bad. It's better than my pretentious sounding surname.

That much I knew. I'm not calling anybody Bro. [Way to not know the last name of the guy you were banging though, Blake.]

Wouldn't yours be the same, if he's your dad? Or is it one of those complicated situations?

Hell, try having two last names. There's guys I've worked with for years who I swear forget which is which.

Well, see, it's a little complicated. Not divorce or anything type complicated though. It's a situation that most people would just humor you for, secretly thinking that you just have a big imagination and are trying to cover up your true feelings about why your parents are separated. My last name is Lalonde.

Two last names? You mean like hyphenated?

...it's the space clone thing, isn't it. Dirk tried to tell me something about that. I was either too drunk to follow or nowhere near drunk enough.

Lalonde. That's not bad. I've heard worse.

Nah, I mean Carter and Blake. You could switch those around and nobody'd know the difference.

It is. It's simple if you explain it right. Dirk, Roxy, Jane and Jake are our parents. Dave, John, Jade and I were cloned from them. The eight of us were then sent to earth via meteors. The first four arrived before us, becoming our guardians. Some time after them, we arrived. But we were all split up. Dirk and Dave landed in Texas, while Roxy - my mom - and I landed in New York.

That's why we're split up, didn't know we were related until years later, etcetera etcetera.

Ah, that would be really confusing...which is it?

[Blake tries to follow that for a good two seconds before rubbing his head and groaning.] Kid, that is a whole lot of things, but simple's not one of them. Does that make you all some kinda aliens?

[Banging a man is bad enough, don't tell him he banged a man from space.]

Carter first, Blake second. Honestly, with the kind of other shit I've been called, I don't give that much of a damn.

Chapter 63; Video/Filtered Video from the Homestuck Cast

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