Chapter 58; Anon Text; Rate That Rump Jr.

[tentacletrainer]

OWNER OF RUMP: Riku GENDER OF RUMP: Male RATING OF RUMP: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♡

RATING OF RUMP
I doubt there's a more stellar posterior than this one for my opening act. Sure, sure, it's not all about fantastic fannies or breathtaking buttocks for this kind of thing, but I think this one deserves the title of "The First Rate". And I do indeed mean that as a double entendre. The derriere that your eyes had the priveledge to gaze upon just now belongs to resident Training Center founder Riku. Seated in heart of Celadon, this rump's owner is just as fine as it is, offering a great public service to all the fine Pokemon Masters out there.

Alright, let's get to the nitty gritty stuff here. Want to know why this butt is so fly? That would be because it's the perfect balance between robust and rotund. It's a pillow posterior, something obviously comfortable enough to sleep on but at the same time you don't wanna. You just wanna enjoy how nice it feels a little while longer. You're going to take a nice big handful and give it a healthy squeeze and that's going to delight you for the next week. And all of this is obvious just by looking at it. Now *that* is a top-notch tooshie.

It's sculpted as if made by the gods themselves. In fact, I wouldn't doubt it if they really did have a hand in it. Upon his birth, they looked at each other, smiled, and spoke, "Riku, thy ass is fine and thou whilst have all the ladies thy heart desires." When the doctor spanked him to wake up his lungs, he weeped, for he knew that was the fairest keister that would ever pass into the world, and it came through his operating room.

Of course, unfortunately, I can't just go take a squeeze for myself, but hey. I've heard this heart-stopping hottie is single. So hey, if any of you girls or boys ever get to do the thing, be sure to give a shout out to me about the experience. I would love to give this rump a follow up report.

Now, as divine as this derriere is, I do have a little advice for you Riku. Casual wise, you should look into some form fitting jeans. Ones that hug your rear with the utmost tenderness and care. And have you ever considered wearing some sleek slacks once in a while, outside of formal events? I'm positive you could rock them like no other.

ADITTIONAL RUMP NOTES:
❥ Would rate again. ❥ Tap that more like tap dance all over that. ❥ Jealous of the hands that lay upon that arse. ❥ Belongs in a museum exhibit to astonishing asses.

Comments

anon text;

[tentacletrainer]

Well sure, the Rate That Rump is monthly. But that and the RtR Jr are two different things. We're two different people. I don't do adults.

forever not anon on his end

[ghostytrainer]

oh. i completely overlooked the jr, wtg self.
ok the, better question.
do we really need TWO of these?

forever anon here!

[tentacletrainer]

Well, who else is going to get the dirt on the rumps of the younger generation here? Honestly, it wouldn't be fair if only adults were reviewed. Adults aren't interested in us kids, so why should we care about their butts?

[ghostytrainer]

i still don't see the point in either of these.
though i guess at least this one wasn't mean, so i guess i have to give you that much.
still embarrassing as hell though, i feel kind of bad for riku.

[tentacletrainer]

Even if the butt is lack luster, I could never be mean about it. Derrieres are something to be cherished, and if one is a little less than fine that just means it needs nurturing. That's all.

I still don't understand how it could be an embarrassment. This was a compliment after all. I enjoy his rear end, and so should others.

[ghostytrainer]

if you say so????

[How does one even nourish a butt????? What??????]

but i'll acknowledge that you are right about it being a compliment.
but the way you worded it just...
ok, you seriously can't see how someone might find "Tap that more like tap dance all over that" to be maybe a LITTLE embarrassing?
especially since you broadcasted it to EVERYONE?

[tentacletrainer]

Trust me. And maybe? Personally I would love it if someone really thought that highly of my ass. Even if it were broadcasted to everyone. My posterior means a lot to me, so if more people thought it was nice, I think that'd be great.

I guess that's really just me but. *shrugs*

Don't you want to know that people like your ass?

[ghostytrainer]

well you are a braver soul than i am, i guess?
because no, i don't.
there is only one person whose opinion matters to me on that subject.
as long as she likes my butt, i really could care less about what other people think.

[Rose, you should know better than anybody that John isn't really one to bask in the spotlight. Of course he thinks this is embarrassing.]

[tentacletrainer]

[[Truth be told, she's just screwing with him.]]

Only one person, hm? She must be pretty important than. I hope you're not talking about your mom or something though. Because honestly, your mom is practically paid to like your butt. Not much of an opinion to depend on.

[ghostytrainer]

i don't have a mom.
so no.
but even if i did i wouldn't ask her for her opinion of my butt???? that's a little weird don't you think?
and i sure as hell wouldn't say "yeah my mom likes my butt" i mean that's just asking for ridicule.

[tentacletrainer]

Hey, I was just making sure you knew! Mom opinions don't count!

[ghostytrainer]

well it's not my mom so there!!!!!!!!

[tentacletrainer]

Well who might it be then?

[ghostytrainer]

my fiancee.

[tentacletrainer]

Fiancee? Ah, so you're out of my age range then! I guess I can understand why her opinion would mean so much to you then.

[ghostytrainer]

yes.
yes, i am definitely out of your age range, i am too old to be part of kiddie tap dance rumpus party.
in fact, i shouldn't even be looking at this.
i should go before i get arrested. so i guess that's what i'm going to do.

[If he's an adult, his ass is (literally) safe. She can't rate him if he's too old!!!!!!!!!!]

[Too bad he's a shitty liar, even over text.]

[tentacletrainer]

............................
Uh huh.

[ghostytrainer]

[There's no response from John's end. Apparently he wasn't kidding about leaving.]

[Nope nope nope, he doesn't want to end up featured on next months RTR Jr. Goodbye. He is gone.]

1/??????

[tentacletrainer]

[[She's polite and she waits a little for a response, but when none comes, well...

You forced her to do this John.]]

You know, just because you're out of my age range doesn't mean we can't have a conversation.

2/she's not bored yet

[tentacletrainer]

I may be a kid, but I'm good at holding conversations.

3/i'm not sorry

[tentacletrainer]

Even if it is with an adult.

4/he's her fiance she's allowed to do this

[tentacletrainer]

It doesn't even have to be about butts!

5/especially about butts

[tentacletrainer]

Even if butts make an exquisite conversation topic.

6/if only she could talk about how great his is

[tentacletrainer]

I mean, there are just so many different kinds!

7/because she'd definitely talk about it

[tentacletrainer]

I could make an exhibit dedicated to them. Or an encyclopedia.