Chapter 58; Anon Text; Rate That Rump Jr.

[tentacletrainer]

OWNER OF RUMP: Riku GENDER OF RUMP: Male RATING OF RUMP: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♡

RATING OF RUMP
I doubt there's a more stellar posterior than this one for my opening act. Sure, sure, it's not all about fantastic fannies or breathtaking buttocks for this kind of thing, but I think this one deserves the title of "The First Rate". And I do indeed mean that as a double entendre. The derriere that your eyes had the priveledge to gaze upon just now belongs to resident Training Center founder Riku. Seated in heart of Celadon, this rump's owner is just as fine as it is, offering a great public service to all the fine Pokemon Masters out there.

Alright, let's get to the nitty gritty stuff here. Want to know why this butt is so fly? That would be because it's the perfect balance between robust and rotund. It's a pillow posterior, something obviously comfortable enough to sleep on but at the same time you don't wanna. You just wanna enjoy how nice it feels a little while longer. You're going to take a nice big handful and give it a healthy squeeze and that's going to delight you for the next week. And all of this is obvious just by looking at it. Now *that* is a top-notch tooshie.

It's sculpted as if made by the gods themselves. In fact, I wouldn't doubt it if they really did have a hand in it. Upon his birth, they looked at each other, smiled, and spoke, "Riku, thy ass is fine and thou whilst have all the ladies thy heart desires." When the doctor spanked him to wake up his lungs, he weeped, for he knew that was the fairest keister that would ever pass into the world, and it came through his operating room.

Of course, unfortunately, I can't just go take a squeeze for myself, but hey. I've heard this heart-stopping hottie is single. So hey, if any of you girls or boys ever get to do the thing, be sure to give a shout out to me about the experience. I would love to give this rump a follow up report.

Now, as divine as this derriere is, I do have a little advice for you Riku. Casual wise, you should look into some form fitting jeans. Ones that hug your rear with the utmost tenderness and care. And have you ever considered wearing some sleek slacks once in a while, outside of formal events? I'm positive you could rock them like no other.

ADITTIONAL RUMP NOTES:
❥ Would rate again. ❥ Tap that more like tap dance all over that. ❥ Jealous of the hands that lay upon that arse. ❥ Belongs in a museum exhibit to astonishing asses.

Comments

[ghostytrainer]

my fiancee.

[tentacletrainer]

Fiancee? Ah, so you're out of my age range then! I guess I can understand why her opinion would mean so much to you then.

[ghostytrainer]

yes.
yes, i am definitely out of your age range, i am too old to be part of kiddie tap dance rumpus party.
in fact, i shouldn't even be looking at this.
i should go before i get arrested. so i guess that's what i'm going to do.

[If he's an adult, his ass is (literally) safe. She can't rate him if he's too old!!!!!!!!!!]

[Too bad he's a shitty liar, even over text.]

[tentacletrainer]

............................
Uh huh.

[ghostytrainer]

[There's no response from John's end. Apparently he wasn't kidding about leaving.]

[Nope nope nope, he doesn't want to end up featured on next months RTR Jr. Goodbye. He is gone.]

1/??????

[tentacletrainer]

[[She's polite and she waits a little for a response, but when none comes, well...

You forced her to do this John.]]

You know, just because you're out of my age range doesn't mean we can't have a conversation.

2/she's not bored yet

[tentacletrainer]

I may be a kid, but I'm good at holding conversations.

3/i'm not sorry

[tentacletrainer]

Even if it is with an adult.

4/he's her fiance she's allowed to do this

[tentacletrainer]

It doesn't even have to be about butts!

5/especially about butts

[tentacletrainer]

Even if butts make an exquisite conversation topic.

6/if only she could talk about how great his is

[tentacletrainer]

I mean, there are just so many different kinds!

7/because she'd definitely talk about it

[tentacletrainer]

I could make an exhibit dedicated to them. Or an encyclopedia.

8/his is a gift to mankind

[tentacletrainer]

A biography of the butt.

9/oh well. this is just as good.

[tentacletrainer]

You aren't worried that I'll find your rump repulsive, right? Surely that's not why you're lying about your age!

10/also the jig is up john

[tentacletrainer]

Because you are lying.

11/go ahead and try to ignore her

[tentacletrainer]

"How do you know that?!" you may be asking. Well...

I'm a psychic.

(｡･｀ω´･｡)

12/you'll soon realize that you can't.

[tentacletrainer]

I figured you out two texts in.

13/how is your gear holding up?

[tentacletrainer]

At best you're 16. Putting you within my age limit.

14/it's probably the victim in all this. all the text abuse it's receiving right now.

[tentacletrainer]

You really shouldn't worry about having a repulsive ass.

15/poor thing

[tentacletrainer]

After all, most young people have fine posteriors. Perhaps nothing stunning or revolutionary, but certainly not unattractive!

16/i should be going to work.

[tentacletrainer]

So you really don't have anything to worry about. There's a 97.43% chance that yours will be a rear I'll enjoy. At least an 83.2% chance it'll be a 7+ rating.

omfg

[ghostytrainer]

[Unfortunately for Rose, John got exactly zero of those messages. Why? Because he did, in fact, go somewhere. He went into the kitchen to start making lunch, but unfortunately he left his gear behind because will there ever be a day where this boy remembers to keep at LEAST five computers on him like a sensible person?]

[The answer is no.]

[So his gear was left open on the couch, and who should happen across it but Davy Jones, who was sitting in John's lap the entire time and has now been left behind while daddy goes to make lunch. And being the curious little scamp that he is, DJ pulls an Omanyte see, Omanyte do and tries to talk to people on the magic cracker.]

dsfjlgggggg ggggggg,,fffmbgtttttttt
dfagdfffff lllllllkjnmkjlaflkjdfsklg
pbbbuuttttt''

OMFG

[tentacletrainer]

[[...okay. Raising an eyebrow.]]

Oh come on, it's true! No need for unbelievable key smashing.

dj has been waiting to use the magic cracker for so long. SO LONG.

[ghostytrainer]

[DJ can't actually read any of that but he's pretty sure that the answer is to press more buttons. He gurgles happily as he goes to town on the gear's touch screen with his tentacles.]

yyyyyyyghdfldfkj bbttpptuu
fsdjklerfsdgjlkdgsvvjlkkkkkkk//////dsfgfg
kefsjfd aaaaaaaaasssssssssss''s
34reoiefdklfasalk;;

poor baby

[tentacletrainer]

[[Okay John are you butt texting? Is that what's going on? Rose doesn't reply, instead finally pulling herself from the bath she was taking to use as cover. Drying off and getting dressed, she sends a few more replies before slipping her gear into her pocket and exiting the bathroom, towel on her head as she dries it off.

Okay, time to go figure out what he's doing. Checking the living room first.]]