tentacletrainer | Chapter 33; Accidental Video

[[Today, when the gear turns on, you get a lovely view of the sky and the calming sounds of water nearby. It's a beautiful day, for those of you not outside.

This serene setting is broken by a squeal from a Pokemon and a splash, then all falls quiet and calm again.

It's a few minutes before you hear something again. This something being another splash. And then on screen appears a Dratini with a quite pathetically wiggling Magikarp in it's mouth.

With a happy chirp it disappears off camera again, only to return a few moments later to rub all over the 'gear. And then off it goes. There's a squeal, a splash, and a few minutes later the familiar sight of this Dratini with another Magikarp, struggling in it's grasp. It disappears, it reappears to smother the Pokegear, rinse, wash, repeat.

This show goes on for some time, until finally - during one of its rubbing sessions - it stops and looks up. And then it simply begins to trill in excitement. Almost like if it doesn't make noise, it'll explode. It's also wiggling.

There is so much wiggling from this Dratini.]]

...V-vodka...what are you doing?

[[It seems this Dratini is none other than Vodka Derptini - also lovingly known as John - belonging to resident Rose Lalonde. And said trainer has found the little dragon Pokemon.

She appears momentarily on screen, picking up the 'gear, before turning to look at...oh.

It seems all those Magikarp the little wiggling dragon type had been collecting are in quite the pile of flopping. Meanwhile, the aforementioned culprit of this karp congregation is sitting next to said heap, wiggling as if waiting for praise.

Apparently those fish are a gift for his trainer.]]

...That's...very nice of you, John. Thank you very much. How sweet.

[[A few pats to the Dratini's head, followed by a multitude of elated chirps, lilts, warbles and purls, and the 'gear is shut off.]]

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Not so much praised as...showed appreciation for the gift. He did, after all, spend a good amount of time fishing.

For... something completely useless.

Not many gifts have a use to them beyond sitting pretty in a shelf in your room. At least, almost all of the gifts I've received have been that way.

And a Magikarp can't even get that right.

[[With a giggle, she shakes her head.]] No, I suppose not. They would make terrible statues and lawn ornaments. Though I'm not quite sure I would want a Magikarp statue or lawn ornament to begin with.

If that's the only kind of presents you ever got, that's some shitty gift-giving.

Well, I also received a cat. And then a mausoleum for said cat when he died, because my mother believed that it was needed simply because I wished to give him a proper funeral. [[Rolling her eyes at that.]]

Though, a friend of mine did provide me with knitting supplies, which I found both useful and still find quite enjoyable. But yes, statues and lawn ornaments and dresses I really did not want are mostly what I found myself receiving.

[He'll just shake his head. What the hell, you people, why would you give a girl like Rose presents like that?]

...yeah, suppose a pile of useless fish does beat that.

It helps that he had the best intentions in mind as well. It's refreshing to receive a gift out of sincerity rather than a passive aggressive jab at me or my interests.

[[Glancing over at the Magikarp.]]

Still though, I feel bad for the poor fish. I'm glad he didn't...try to kill them or anything.

[Just a blank look at that. People are clearly idiots, but he knew that already. Sometimes he's glad he is spared family life.]

I'm not convinced he could if he tried.

Personally, neither am I. I just know it would be further annoyance to them if he did.

Heh, true.

So now you get to throw 'em all back into the water?

Unless I really want to catch, keep and train them all, that is indeed what I oh so fortunately get to do now. How exciting, hm?

Incredibly. [Was that a yawn? ...]

I apologize that I cannot invite you to such a monumental event, of which I am sure you would enjoy just as much as I am. I can tell by your tone you are just ever so jealous.

[[Tossing he first Magikarp into the lake, she flashes Squalo a grin.]]

I'm sure I could talk Vodka, however, into pulling a stunt like this again, next time we're inhabiting the same town.

Really, there's no need to trouble yourself or your pokémon on my behalf. [He can't quite help smirking back though.]

Oh it would be no trouble at all for a friend such as yourself. I am sure he would love to play a game of "Fetch the Magikarp". Though I can't promise he wouldn't then insist that you two are friends and require hugs.

[Do not really want...] I've had my share of Dratini hugs, personally. ...and Dragonair hugs. At least yours doesn't attempt to strangle humans, I take it?

I believe the day he attempted to is the day we would be able to waltz out of Johto on our own accord. I promise I will ensure that he refrains from offering you any.

That's a relief.

[There is really only sarcastic relief here. Really.]

[[She eyes him skeptically a moment, oh so tempted to comment on that oh so sarcastic relief and the sure culprit Dragonair behind it, but refrains.]]

Have your Pokemon ever felt the need to offer you bountiful gifts?

[He would tell, but Rose, honestly, you probably don't want to hear it.]

Not so far. But my starter kept trying to steal my things and eat them.

[[She wants to hear everything. Any piece of information is still a piece of information, after all.]]

Even things that aren't food?

Well he bit chunks out of pavement, too. Larvitar mostly feed on rocks, but I don't think they're picky eaters.

Rocks? How interesting. I've yet to meet a Pokemon who dines on that. [[Just looking up Larvitar now.]]

That's awfully impressive, however, to take chunks out of pavement.